Putting everything in words

To many people already think I'm weird!
I don't consider it true of me.
But, even if it were true.... weird isn't always bad!!!!
I believe that just makes me a *non-conformist* Why do I have to fit into someone elses world?
Why do I have to please all of those around me?
I know the laws of truth...liberty...and freedom. And I follow the law of the land.
For me the only one that I really have to worry about is> GOD...he knows what is in my heart. I would never go out of my way to hurt another soul.
The error of my ways is between him & me!
I've never been full of verbal prayers. I don't ask God for trival things because in my heart I believe that there are many many other people in the world who have less than I do...and God should concentrate more on them.
I pray to God to provide others with inner strength to get them through their hours of need.
My prayers are written and kept in a special book. I just call it *My Prayers* and be done with it.
So, if your like me (weird...lol) don't worry about how the world see's you. Just remember to look up every once in a while and say> Hey you, up stairs...thanks for a good day and smile..cause you know he hears you! :-)

Insomnia & what I might miss out on

I don't sleep much!
My max is about 5 hours....And I don't take naps!!
Although, this really isn't anything new to me. It has been like this my entire life.

I wonder if insomnia is/can be/ a genetic trait?
Or is it something learned?
Other than my Dad's side of the family.....And ME...... Everyone I know sleeps many hours longer than I do.

Every time I crawl between the sheets to snooze.....I always tell myself what time I have to rise & shine. Very rarely have I ever had to rely on an alarm clock. I can be up in 1 hour or 5 hours.
It really depends on what is on the agenda for the day.
Am I a planner?
Well, not really....Living in Arizona I do try to plan my day around what the heat-temps are suppose to be....which usually means out the door by 10 am. Especially with 115 degrees!!!!
I have to admit....sometimes my days all run together.
I just try to remember my little *to-do list* and stick to it. (And I do mean *little*)
My motto is>Get it done; so I can come home and dive into the pool to cool off!!!!!!!!!!!
At my age...... time is on my side. I'm getting to the point of asking myself: is it important and does it have to be done RIGHT NOW?

My answer......Yes its always important because you never know if you will get a second chance to get it all done!!!!!
But: never forget get to look in all directions because you might miss out on the best day of your life!!!!

Diabetes & ME

Just when you think your life has settled.....along comes the bombshell!
I was just diagnosed with DIABETES 2!
Am I ANGRY.....Damn right.
First this is NOT from eating.....You don't get diabetes from food. (that remark could have bowled me over)
Diabetes...Whether type 1 or type 2 is inherited......Oh it might skip a generation or so. And;
the older generations probably never even knew they had it.
Probably for me and millions of others we will never see a CURE.
Sounds horrible doesn't it?
Ok...I have to admit that I still see the glass as half full.
My brain is so overwhelmed by all of the information...I feel like I'm swimming in a fog as thick as pea soup.....As for crying...It only makes the crackers soggy.
I find it strange people don't talk about Diabetes..... It's as if there is some kind of taboo with it.
I also found it very weird that it is easier to buy condoms compared to Diabetic supplies.
I understand that pricking yourself to test your blood sugar level isn't a pretty site.
Although, in the last 10 days I've learned to deal with it.
Yeppers you got the time span right....I've only been dealing with this for 10 days.
I now need to make some major life style changes.
First and foremost....I need to learn to put myself first...I'm struggling with this issue.
I'm not a selfish type of person...All my life I've been the one that gives and gives and gives. I don't know how to be the taker.
Only time will tell if I'm able to do all that is needed.
The absolute biggest shocker.....My Doctor wants me to eat> 2200 calories per-day!!!!!!!!!
Are you kidding me.....I'll end up weighing 1000 pounds if I eat that much food.
Oh yeah...Just look at me waddle across the room or...Fatty fatty 2 by 4 can't get through the kitchen door!!!!!!
Who talks of eating disorders? Apparently not my Doctor......lol
Now if I'm still able to sit at my PC in a few days...I might write more.
But for now......Later Gator....tt4n

My world is very small after all!

?.....after much thought I'm enlightened to the fact that my world is indeed my own small world.
I keep trying to fight my way out...But its like a vaccine and keeps sucking me back in.
Never in all my dreams would I have imagined the drastic twists and turns my life has taken me.
The path: When we are young we strive to achieve each year as a stepping stone toward our goals. I have been blinded by my own truths. I have turned away...Who am I now? I don't know!
My path has grown dusty from lack of foot steps. I'm at a stand still with in my world.

Growing up in a small town: Some out grow their small towns values. We reach out for vaster plains. Can we over come our small town deities? We want to justify our ways and means in life. We are willing to leave behind family and life long friends as we search for ourselves amongst the hoards.

Older with each day: I'm now middle aged and I no longer have the privilege to search for the sheltering arms of family to protect me from harm. I no longer have parents or grandparents to enfold me. I am an orphan!